LeadHatter

i had told them i would reply and had as of yesterday made an effort to communicate back in their direction. Then i progressed in my codie/aca recovery and uncovered fresh emotional abuse so im mad with mum and dad all over again.

i dont want to message them. i dont want to 'fake' a relationship. if im angry and mad at them to grow in their direction would be fake right.

i feel guilty though because i have encouraged them to call me recently. my dad has lied to me many times about problems dismissing them as not there or minimizing them. i dont feel i should have to forgive him until im ready.

i consider both of my parents toxic very very much so. my dad doesnt tell me the truth unless it suits him which makes it hard to communicate and be emotionally honest. he also plays mind games where he will make out you are the only person in the whole world that thinks like you do if he is in a certain mood and you criticise him so im very careful before being at all critical.

i dont feel safe going out of my way confronting him with emotional honesty he may deny=waste of time or worse take as a excuse to cause damage to the relationship. hes a pain in the a$$

thankyou soberrecovery.com and any ACA that reads this. I welcome any comments here or in private.