It's always SO much easier to see where someone else is making a mistake, or getting hung up, than it is to see where we are doing it. It's just the perspective difference.
That's one of the valuable things about forums like this, I think. I am too close to my own problems and issues to see things clearly. It's easy to feel totally overwhelmed and miss something simple that someone else may be able to see plainly.
Not that other people can necessarily pinpoint exactly what needs to be done. They may not be aware of other factors entering into the equation that makes one solution better than another. Still, it's good to have feedback.
It's also important for me, when I ask for someone's opinion, to try to keep an open mind. I've been known to reject ideas that later turn out to be just the ticket, based on my own belief that it won't work. (Actually, that's what happens with a lot of alcoholics coming into AA--they don't "get" how working the Steps can relieve them of alcoholism, so they decide, without really trying it, that it won't work for them: "I could never believe in a Higher Power," "I could never turn my will and my life over to something I don't believe in," "AA is a cult," etc. The Big Book calls it "contempt prior to investigation.")
Anyway, most of the posts I read on this forum are not coming from a judgmental point of view--they are usually pointing out tried and true methods of making life better when there is an alcoholic in your life.
I know what it's like to feel raw and sensitive, though--it isn't always easy to shake the feeling of being judged or criticized. I know when I feel that way, it is usually my ego that's taking a hit, and that's where it helps to step back and ask that question posed here recently, "Do I want to be RIGHT, or do I want to be HAPPY?"