I agree with changing our inner dialog KE. Like you, I have found by asking early in the morning for the type of day I want (calm, filled with love, etc.), I have those days. It is when I let myself be drawn back into drama that I start to suffer.
I have been seeing my AS on and off for the last couple of months. I think he is off the hard stuff, because we have very enjoyable encounters. I don't ask about drugs, I don't try and control him in anything, I don't give advice, I simply enjoy the time he is with us. It is wonderful. I think it would have been very different if he came to visit us high, but he doesn't.
I couldn't have seen him like this if I was still obsessed with letting him see the error of his ways. It was only by changing my thoughts about him that our relationship has changed. This is the first time in about 10 years that I have been able to have peaceful afternoons with him. I thank God for this.