ooh boy do i understand that question....and you hit the nail on the head...it is easier to deal with OUTSIDE A's than our own, especially if living with them...because its constant, constant in our face, constant quacking, constant DENIAL
we do need to teach ourselves that the A's are just that...the disease effects everyone in so many ways...
my A was loving, caring, compassionate..<<WHEN HE GETS HIS WAY...as soon as i apply my AL ANON? he bailed...I changed my enabling ways...was not benefit for him anymore..
i do not treat my A's in my life different, i treat them with respect, but i do get how hard it is...