Hi Bratnik...I saw your reply to my post Thank you! As far as your post sounds a lot like me with my past drinking. MHO is maybe see a psychiatrist. Suffering from my depression drives me to want to resume my addicitons sometimes and also my history is they are very understanding about the addiction as well as depression. I am planning to attend my first AA meeting in a loooooooong time tonight at 6:30. Ironically I ran into the "old time" from AA yesterday so that may be a sign I need/want to go. My husband is also recovering alkie but says he doesn't need meeting. I know the secrecy kills you inside with guilt. I've got no choice cannot tell him but since your DH already knows there is a problem maybe telling him the amount won't be that great of a shock. My secrecy and guilty feelings stop once I stop the sneaking (pills) and as long as he doesn't figure it out when it's time for his refill ( I made sure he wouldn't be short) but this time I'm not picking them up...too much temptation for my will power. Great you dumped the bottle. Good Luck and Congrats on day 5. Let's keep in touch here. I'm also posting on the substance abuse forum because even though alcohol is my drug of choice and I have almost 2 years sober...narcotics are new to me so I'm hoping for info and support at that forum too. Take care and keep us posted.