Thank you Laurie and Kindeyes for responding to my post. Really, your kindness and support means the world to me.
When my dad was in the emergency room last time, (several months ago) I asked for a social worker, and she did make copies of a list for him to nearby shelters, (which I'd already done myself) and gave him a card so that he could get discounts on medications. My dad kept the discount card, but shoved the shelter list aside with all his other papers he carries around. My father refuses to go to any shelters whatsoever, because they will not accept his dog. He is absolutely terrified of losing his dog. His house, kids, wife, job? Nope, he says he'll be okay. Really, he would rather live in this shed than go to a homeless shelter without her. That's his decision, and it's his choice, so I gave up on suggesting shelters or the Salvation Army. As a huge animal lover and dog owner, I admit this really tugs at my heart stings, as I imagine he figures his dog is his last friend in the world. However, he was not appointed an official social worker at the hospital, which disappointed me. I will think about this option, though I admit I am terrified of the guilt I may feel should they separate him from his dog and his so-called "safe-place" because of a call I made. I don't know if I can handle that today
I am going to discuss this with my sister and see what she thinks. Will they think I'm a horrible person for not allowing him to live here?
I am so very sorry to hear about your son, kindeyes. How heartbreaking. You know all too well, then, the worry and the toll it takes on our bodies and minds to love so much and resent so much at the same time. Yes, addicts are extremely manipulative, and my dad knows how to get what he wants using guilt and stories of desperation. I know I'm enabling in many ways, yet changing my behavior is becoming so hard, as I feel more and more broken down with each passing day. Today, I'm very weak. I have no energy to fight the fight. Today I need to let go for my own self, but it's a struggle to stop obsessing. The lines are blurred for me now that he's ill with kidney disease, but he wouldn't be in this horrible place if not for his addiction and bad decisions that have nothing to do with me, yet are affecting me so very deeply.
Again, thank you so much for reading my thoughts, and this site is wonderful. I am learning a lot here. I have tears welling up in my eyes because others actually get it. What a sad way to connect with such lovely people.
There are lots of Al Anon meetings in my area, (some are 12 step studies?) I just need to get my butt to one.