Hi Nina and welcome!!
You found a great place of support here. There are so many wise people here and I give thanks every day I found this board, every one has helped me through so much, I don't know what I would have done.
I don't have any great words of wisdom to give you but talking about it is a start. Find a meeting and reading al-alnon materials would be very helpful also.
You hang in there.
Take care.
Many hugs.
Debbie