Thanks everyone. I'm glad to be here. I'm surprised at how relieved I have been feeling that he is gone. I haven't shed a single tear today. I just refuse to. I truly hope he gets better. I have no idea if he will ever be included in my future plans. I know there are legal issues that will have to be dealt with and all.
I have some guilt. I feel like I've just tossed him to the curb. A couple of years ago, he stuck by me through some rough stuff before I was diagnosed with PMDD and got treatment for it. Sometimes I think my illness "drove him to drinking" as they say. I guess the difference is that I have children. They aren't his. He has none of his own. I just can't put them through this crap anymore. I am keeping him on my medical insurance, so at least most of the cost of his treatment will be paid for.
One thing that bothers me a bit is that when he called earlier this evening, I asked if he had spoken to his family about all of this yet. He said no. I know he's ashamed and embarrassed, but I will feel badly for them if they call him and just keep getting his voicemail. I'm not sure if its my place to let them know what's going on or not.