KittyP

Or maybe most people do not feel they are with an "A" but feel they are with their husband/wife/lover. The person who they fell in love with. The person who gradually but suddenly became someone else, someone they don't (always) recognise. I doubt one single person came into their relationship thinking, "ooh I know, I'll get involved with a complete jerk who will be horrible to me until I feel compelled to share my woe over and over while keeping on letting him treat me like a pile of poo."

They fell in love with someone who seemed wonderful and over time that person became a nasty addict. They stay because a) the person they love is clearly in distress and they want to help them, and b) they desperately want him/her to get better so they can go back to how things were/how they think things could be.

That may or may not be possible for each particular person. Some (like me) will get what they wanted out of staying, others (like you) will change their goals and move on and sadly others will never give up but never get what they want either. And along the way each and every person, at each and every stage should feel free to share their feelings without being attacked for it, they have their own journey and deserve support on it, because no matter what you choose, or what the outcome, it's a damn rough ride.