Originally Posted by
hurtbeyondbelie 
When and how do I forgive myself?
You did not cause this. You cannot control this. You cannot cure this. His addiction is not about you.
How long is it going to take for him to get it? How long is it going to take for him to see that contacting me is making things worse and harder for me to heal? When is he going to put me and my feelings first? When will he accept that he has ruined us, and we are over?
He may never get it and that his problem impacted you.
What can you do to avoid further contact? Can you change your email address? Block him? Change your phone number? Stop reading?