I was kind of messed up at the time I met my husband. This is before I started drinking but I was dealing with serious depression and anxiety. That summer I told myself that I was going to work on myself before I got into a relationship. I didn't listen to my own advice and ended up getting together with my now-husband. I am very thankful to be married to him as he is a great man, but I think a lot of my issues, especially my alcoholism could have been avoided if I had taken some time to get to know myself and what I really want. My advice to you would be (as others have said) to get to know yourself. As they say, you should be your own best friend. Take care of yourself...you'll be so much better off and happier beginning a relationship when you have a healthy mind and body!! Good luck!!