Welcome Nod, I am with the group, no need to speak until you feel comfortable--just hearing the message is enough. When I got sober years ago (and have now relapsed), I was too out of it to say anything for about a month and then I found my voice, not only in AA but out of AA. And this is a great place to talk to other and share, sounds like you are working really hard on your recovery and reaching out for help, which is inspiring.