nodl5

i feel more comfortable speaking here than at the AA meetings. I am only 5 days sober and this is my second day in AA. i have been before, but it was 20 years ago and i was uuuhh confused. well i am again, but it seems different. i talked all the time about nothing back then. i was in my 20s and was a wise ass. i am 46 years old now and appreciate the members more. i don't want to use it for a platform. i simply want to be sober.

but i figured i needed to let this sink in and at least get a week behind me before i really broke the ice. clear my head so to say or a bit more clear anyway. i tend to talk a lot and AA and sobriety mean a lot to me. i'm confused, because, how can i be serious about anything after only two days. i guess the major thing was getting in there in the first place, but i also feel guilty because it took dwi #5 to get me there.

but like i said, my posts here can be read or not so i feel i can sort of get things in perspective and share with the willing. my life is half way wrecked i have some really good things going on and obviously some really bad things.

i know i could not continue my life drinking. it was causing me VERY SERIOUS problems. i've had sobriety in the back of my mind, but obviously i was unable to manage my life. i mean it says it. i admit i am powerless over my addictions and my life had become unmanageable!!!!! i mean just because i finally got a degree from a community college and made mostly A's, it don't mean squat if i am in jail and i am away from daughter. the dwi is a by product of my disease.

i feel strongly AA will work.

thanks for letting me share