What if the A does decide to get better?
My story is very familiar to most of you -
so in a nutshell - Five years of AH drinking where it is a noticible problem, spends 90 days in treatment then gets out and returns to the drinking. Then loses his job (past Nov) and falls into an alcoholic soaked depression that ends in a suicide attempt this past April. Carted off to treatment for 30 days and divorce papers served. Now he is out of treatment and sounds wonderfully focused on recovery and doing/saying all the right things. What IF he gets better? Does the divorce still need to happen? I guess only I can answer that question for myself. I have three children to support and these decisions obviously impact them - although I recognize the very real benefits of a healthy home. Right now I look at his past track record and I guess the answer becomes clear. Another poster asked if there were any happy endings/recovery stories for marriages. It took me so long and required so much strength to file the papers that I am surprised by how hard sticking to that decision is. I guess if we are meant to be together than that can still happen even with a divorce. I have been lurking here for a long time, I have read the stickies and all the recommended books. I go to AlAnon and I am setting up counselors for my three girls. I just want wondered you all, in your wisdom and greater experience, thought about what you would do if your AH DID decide to get better and get help? And then followed up treatment with AA, sponsors and counseling?