I was a single parent even when my exah was here.
Yup, that. I've been doing the single parent thing for over a year, and in the past 5 months I've done it 100%. Going from about 90% to 100% was a bigger leap than I understood at the time (my XAH fell apart and couldn't spent any time with the kids since Christmas, although that's starting to get better). But I've felt like, and in many ways been, a single parent since the day our daughter was born 5.5 years ago.
It's hard, but find support and find the strength in yourself. You have it. You've had it all along.