Its very common for the alcoholic to call on family and friends with fear or complaint about their state, and then with no willingness to make the necessary changes, to unload this terrible guilt onto the helpless family member who wants to help, but whose hands are tied.
My RAH, even now, will call me to complain about panic attacks driving him to want to drink, to which I used to try to convince him to see the psych doc and get meds, to which he would then argue with me over.
It just comes down to taking away that argument.
If she gets into enough discomfort she will call and say, Come, take to hospital NOW>
ANything other than that is most likely quacking quacking, because she is not committed to taking any action.
This is the exact same thing as someone standing inside a burning house, shouting that they are on fire, but they refuse to walk out the door.
After so many attempts at reasoning with them, "cmon, come out of the burning house, now... you are on fire..."
It is perfectly normal for you to become annoyed, then enraged, then complacent..I mean c'mon!
My RAH will always call and say he is at the end of his nerve and cant go on without help, then I will be supportive, he will feel better, the he will abandon plans for help until things get uncomfortable for him AGAIN.
Now, I dont even talk to him about any plans unless he has names or dates. And even then, I am half listening.
And if he calls me to whimper on about how hard it is for him, I just say I need to take care of something call you later. He gets the message.
She knows how to get help. She is a grown woman. No need for you to even give it more than a passing notice until she asks for a ride or a phone number. ..
You CAN choose to walk away from her burning house.