Hi pink - I understand you think you're drinking to cope with your "crap of a life," but what it's really doing is keeping you down, unable to make any changes at all.
You may not be drinking in front of your children, but it's no less sad that that they will grow up with a mother who is unhappy and in pain, in a marriage that is unhealthy. It's likely they'll end up repeating the pattern.
That's not a judgement, pink. That's just what happens.
What do you think you should do to get out of this?