Jackie, you sound so much like me a few years ago. My AH insisted that all counselors were idiots, and I went to at least 3 marriage counselors alone. I feared asking him to go because he had told me numerous times about his opinion. I finally cracked and it's probably much too late to save the marriage, but I told had to give him an ultimatum. It worked and I was very surprised that he agreed. Whatever you give him as an ultimatum has to be something you are willing to stick to, but I wish I had done this 10 years ago and maybe there would be more hope. You are a very strong person, and always remember that he most likely needs you more than you need him. Get him to counseling and good luck with getting him to see that he needs help in overcoming his addiction. I haven't succeeded with that, but counseling is sure making me see just how sick he really is. Al-anon will help you find yourself and the strength to do what you need to do for yourself.