Originally Posted by
sandrawg 
You're so right, but oftentimes, we need to totally let go of them. They need to lose us, hopefully to see that there are consequences to their drinking.
My exabf probably never will because he's deluding himself into thikning that he was just done wiht me. That he'd "tried everything" (haha! funny-he never tried total sobriety)
And yes, I saw his best drinking buddy get sober in AA, so it gave me hope that would rub off on my ex, or the drinking buddy would help him get sober, but...his friend has no more impact that me but is smarter than me and works his program better, so he knows he can't do anything for my ex.
Yeah, my ex said the SAME thing. He's "done with me", and "tried everything", and it's just that I am toxic for him.
I found out he has already moved on to the next girl. I saw his facebook page last night on a mutual friend's computer and his status update was, "So tired of women who play games. **** or get off the pot!", and this was written 1.5 hours before he dialed me drunk and hysterical because SHE rejected him (he didn't say this was exactly why he was upset, but it was obvious). When I called him out the next day on callously using me like that he couldn't even deny it, and just apologized.
I'm glad I saw that facebook update, it just showed me that he cares NOTHING for me, has NO remorse for abusing, using, and utterly defiling my soul. He uses people, much like a sociopath or narcissist, and just like he uses alcohol. His behavior fits the descriptions of ALL cluster B personality disorders. Not to mention if this new girl has ALREADY made him that angry he will only abuse her in time, like he did to me. Or, she will be smart enough to run for the hills before it gets to that point. No healthy woman would engage in a relationship with him the way he is, he's not capable of anything resembling a healthy relationship (I'd bet addicts can't even have healthy friendships)!
Sick! This could have been the rest of my life... It's going to take a while to recover from this insidious abuse, but at least it won't hurt like this forever. It just leaves me so empty inside to think that someone I spent all this time with never even loved me at all. I feel like such a target, a pawn, not even a human being.