Thanks for the responses! It's good to know that there might be other men here in the same position. I have to admit that after reading the responses, I want to say to myself, surely it isn't that bad. I mean, we're surviving and functional for the most part. She takes pretty good care of us and the finances. It's just this on thing. How can I talk anyway since I also have addictions?
It is going to be difficult to not second guess myself on this. It's really just the feeling held hostage part. If that would go away, I could manage the rest.