Good question, what was I doing with him? We were going to give it another shot, but he is drinking himself into oblivion every single night, and the first time I made one mistake, or did something he didn't like that had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my survival as I was supporting the both of us, I became a punching bag and the abuse started and continued on for weeks until last night's grand finale.
I am sick, if I wasn't I would have walked away from him a year ago.
I've been an outlet for all of this person's anger and life's problems, like a scapegoat. As long as I am the problem in his life he won't have to look at the real issue: Alcohol.
I think that's the worst part though, is being blamed for everything. He's convinced everyone he knows that I am crazy and toxic for him. Sad, because I've given SO much and NONE of it has been recognized.
We're used and abused, lied to, manipulated, conned, etc., constantly by these addicts and as if that wasn't traumatic enough we have to shoulder all of the blame and fault so they can continue drinking and avoiding their own issues.
Thanks for all the support, I need recovery! It's time to heal from all of this and put the pieces of me that he didn't destroy back together. Sad, I feel like there will always be pieces missing...