Sorry you are going through a rough time, Ipnangel. I've found that because I numbed my feelings for so long with alcohol, it feels strange to go through intense feelings without drinking. I drank when I was sad, angry, lonely, frustrated, overwhelmed. But I also drank when I was excited, social, happy, creative.
I don't think I cried real tears in all the time I was drinking, even when my sister passed away. It was like I had to drink to open the emotional floodgates..then I'd be a sobbing mess, but it wasn't healing tears at all. It's taken me three years to realize that crying when sober, is REAL and that's how you deal and recover. Sending you strength and hoping that things look up.