I was willing to let go of some long held beliefs and conceptions.
I never took the first drink when I was drunk.
Alcohol seemingly had power over me that I was unable to control.
Choice? I think the way I define choice has probably changed quite a bit. I don't know the last time I had to think or say "I am not going to drink today" - hasn't even come to mind.
Mark was right - I gave up my choice at the third step because I was beat with no way out. Hopeless didn't mean I needed time to gather a stronger resolve - it meant I was absolutely hopeless of "not drinking", and that any effort on my part to stop was going to end up the same way - with me drunk.
Kieth said - it's an experience more than anything else, and I agree with that 100%. Without having experienced total hopelessness, lack of choice - I would not be able to relate to people who speak of these things. I know EXACTLY what they are talking about, no matter which words they "choose" to describe it.