Welcome roadie. Congratulations on day 3. That's awesome.
Unfortunately, you can't erase the past. It will always be there as a haunting reminder of what was. Kind of like the ghost of the past in Scrooge. But the good thing is we can change what we have now. You can change today and tomorrow and the next day...you can create a new life. A life where people trust you, where you can control your actions and learn how to enjoy a real life sober.
Do you have any program you are following? AA? Anything?
Good luck and wishing you peace and strength.