Hey Roadie
This is a great site with great support. I have the same problem as you in other words "binge drinking". For many years I have tried to deal with my problems on my own. Telling myself that i will try harder next time. IT DOES NOT WORK.... trust me the only solution is TOTAL abstanance from alchahol. For me the 1st step was admitting that I have a problem and started attending regular meetings (AA). You need to accept that this is a major problem and you need help. Ask for help and you will recieve.
Be strong and remember you CAN beat this thing...
Remember the little pleasures in life...
Ant