Hi and Welcome,
I think most of us here have tried to moderate our drinking. I spent more than a year determined to moderate my drinking and it never lasted and I ended up worse than before. Besides, all I did was think about drinking. Stopping is the only answer if you're an alcoholic, but I do understand that it's hard to think about never drinking again. Don't let those thoughts overwhelm you at this time. Just focus on getting through each day and it will get better.
It's always a good idea to talk to your dr about stopping drinking too because detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous.