From the Big Book page 181 Doctor Bob's Nightmare:
Unlike most of our crowd, I did not get over my craving for liquor much during the first two and on-half years of abstinence. It was almost always with me. But at no time have I been anywhere near yielding. I used to get terribly upset when I saw my friends drink and knew I could not, but I schooled myself to believe that though I once had the same privilege, I had abused it so frightfully that is was withdrawn. So It doesn't behoove me to squawk about it for, after all, nobody ever had to throw me down and pur liquor down my throat."
In some ways it doesn't sound very sympathetic, but it explains how many of us have often felt. On those rare occasions now that I get hard cravings, I make some really strong peppermint tea and dig into the big book and this forum. It often wasn't as fun "out there" as we tend to remember in early recovery. I also managed to make it to 8 meetings this week and didn't realize it until today. I'm married, have a full+ time job, kids, etc. but I still spent less time in meetings than I did at the bars when I was drinking.
Hang in there. You can download a free copy of the big book online. I think it's at
Alcoholics Anonymous :.