Totally hear ya on that one. My XABF was "sober" when I met him 2 1/2 years ago. Supposedly has 4 years of sobriety under his belt by now and goes to AA all the time. He talks the talk but I saw NO recovery. Just stinking thinking, cheating, blaming, poor pitiful me, rudeness and gaslighting. That's why he's an X. You can't claim you're taking responsibility if you're not doing anything to back up your claims.
I feel for you...BTDT. Take care of you and Florence JR. When is your due date?