Ditto what anvilhead said -- and add wearing my hair down if I want some recognition for physical features
...it's down to about mid-thigh and people always notice
.
Most of the time, though, it's not physical recognition I want -- I talk to intelligent, appreciative people who openly tell me when they enjoy my company and why, and in turn they also appreciate the gratitude I express toward them for their stimulating conversation. These people often tell me I'm intelligent and witty, and I do value intelligence very highly.
If all else fails, I talk to my South American language partners. It makes me feel great to be practicing my second language, and also when I get compliments about it ("Your Spanish is improving so much. I can't even tell you're from the US, they don't know how to conjugate!"). They're all also much more open about their opinions than the people I know in the US...they will laugh at me if I get something wrong, they tell me what physical and intellectual attributes are my best assets, and I also know that if they're hiding anything from me it's minimal. One of my language partners addresses me as "my impressive lady," and another will even sing for me :P. Great friends are a great way to feel competent, powerful...and yes, sexy too
. Once you know what you value most about yourself, it's a lot easier to figure out what will help reinforce that you really do have it.