My expectations sure get me into trouble. Cause me more pain than is necessary. I also expect myself to be perfect, MG, and boy do I get it from myself when I am not. I am very interested in the black ache concept, and what people do for themself to ease the pain. WHen you are feeling empty, alone, and like no one else really cares about you. How do you get out of that by yourself? I have tried logic, I know in my head that I am loved, but that doesn't ease the feeling in my gut. Sometimes I call someone and it helps, but often, it is nighttime and I am alone and I don't know how to comfort myself. SOmetimes I cry and sometime I just go to bed to escape. What works for You? I will also tell you that I sleep with a teddy bear every night. It was my son's bear and I love to cuddle him.