The Insanely Short Memory (ISM).
Hi Everyone,
I have been thinking a lot lately, and for some reason my mind keeps wandering towards proving to myself again that I am in fact an alcoholic. I have plenty of proof that I am and have written a lot of it down so I can look at it when I need to, but I still catch myself thinking about making a plan. When I think about this, I think, I should go out with a plan to just have a drink or two and see what happens. Coming from an educational background of predominantly chemistry I think in my head that if I am really an alcoholic that instantaneously I would be slamming a bottle that night due to the "allergic" reaction. This, in my personal experience, was not the case but sure enough whether it was a couple days, a week, or a month I would be back to drinking to blackout and drinking in the morning to calm my nerves and "cure" my anxiety. It just blows my mind how fast my ego can repair itself and think that it is a good idea to go back to something that brought me to my knees!! Anyway, I don't plan on doing this (in case anyone was going to ask) but I just thought I would throw this out there because it has been bothering me. I know that in my heart that alcohol only brought destruction, lying and problems into my life but these sirens are really good at what they do.