If I were in her shoes, the most important thing for me would be that the father stay sober and is able to be a productive, responsible and healthy part of my child's life. Not the ring or the marriage.
Kids are stressful, marriage is stressful.. Fatherhood will give you a new responsibility. Marriage will add on another one. If you don't feel strong enough then listen to what your gut is telling you. That is taking on huge life changes in a short amount of time.
The good thing is that you are thinking this through carefully. Communication with your gf is very important.
Yeah in a perfect world we think babies come after marriage but times change and what is most important to the child is that dad be sober, stable and able to participate in his/her life.
