Prenup when marrying someone in recovery?
I am looking for feedback from others who have gone down this path.
I am now 17 months sober. Met my GF three months before I admitted myself into treatment in Dec 2009. She stuck by me through those six weeks and the many months since as I worked on my sobriety, which I consider to be pretty strong at this point. I work my program, have a sponsor, go to meetings regularly (4+ times a week still), pray and meditate, etc. I consider myself to be pretty happy joyous and free.
Now the complicated parts: I am unemployed. We are pregnant (she is now @ 7 weeks). We are not married.
My GF and I are pretty independent, both have our own homes, and are reasonably financially secure. She has said that the important part is that I be a part of this childs life, that marriage is not necessary solely because she is pregnant. That said, I do believe she would prefer in her heart of hearts that we marry. She just doesn't want to force me into it.
I was raised catholic, so this is pretty foreign territory for me. I am inclined to marry her but realize that absent the baby I wouldn't choose to do so at this time (b/c no job, still early sobriety, etc.). Most importantly, I recognize that while my sobriety is pretty solid, like they say in the financial advertisements, past performance is no guarantee of future results. If I were to relapse (I haven't yet and have no intention or even random thoughts of doing so) this could get ugly fast, and I do not want to put her in a position of having to fight her way back to sanity.
So I'm thinking of a prenup. I haven't thought it out thoroughly, but basically what we have accumulated prior to marriage (retirement accounts) stays spearate, what we accumulate together is joint. God forbid that I relapse, "my half" of the accumulated stays for the childs benefit, and she has some pre-determined fast track to an uncontested divorce regardless what I might say at the time.
I haven't discussed this with my GF, because I know that this is negative thinking. But it's also realistic - you don't have to hang around SR long to read some outrageous horror stories about marriages gone bad due to addiction. Thoughts?