No one ever said you have to make changes over night! I know that is what I felt had to happen. I gradually eased into it, and you can too. Now, I was like Callie sort of...saw a lawyer, then stalled for quite a while (8 months to be exact). Then I went and it was a slow and steady stream of decisions that eventually led to us legally separating.
Unfortunately I understand all too well what you are going through. I have legally separated, so financially, physically, etc. we are separate. But I haven't completely moved on. I'm still lingering, hanging on to that tiny thread. Wish I could just let it go and for the life of me can't figure out why I haven't? It's insanity. But, I have to realize that it took me 5+ years to get to where I was at. It is okay to take your time through it all.
Oh, and when I get weak, I try to remember some of those incidents. Every once in a while I remember a doozy...something that I almost forgot about. Something so awful, yet I managed to push it back so far in my brain that I almost forgot! Craziness, I tell ya.
****{HUGS}}} Just get your eye on it, and take whatever sized steps you need to, to get there. Evan baby steps can get you there eventually!