Missy7

This is my third serious attempt to gain long-term sobriety in the past month. I've had 13 days, then 6 days, and a couple of 2 day stints. I'm currently on Day 2 and feel pretty good.

I'm a serious stress case though, and one of the silly stressors in my life is this weight loss challenge I have been in with a friend. She and I did it for 10 weeks in January/February and we together lost 7% of our body weight. I did not want to do it again but signed up for solidarity for her--she is a lot heavier than I am. The diet is an insane 970 calories a day.

But as I have yo yo'd with the booze this month, I have put on weight. The program includes public weigh ins where gains are announced to about 50 people. So last night I called her and told her I was going to withdraw. I know there are a couple of women in there who need partners, one of whom was my friend's partner in the past. I recommended to her that she join the other woman and, in fact, wrote the program to ask they facilitate that. I cited "other personal goals" as my reason.

So, here is the question. I knew I shouldn't try to do this right now. I will be watching my diet a little, but I cannot handle the stress of getting on that scale in front of people and either having gained or not lost enough for us to win. Competing at this most basic level is a bad idea right now. And if I told her, "hey, I'm not as concerned about my diet because I'm quitting drinking" she would tell people. (we work together--sort of--and I know for a fact she will use that information). What can I say that will "cover" this?

So now I'm in trouble as a quitter when it's exactly the opposite. She will shun me, and she can, but I can't worry about this right now. I'm trying to gain control of my life.