Let me just add my 25 cents and tell you that it was amazing for me to see how far my money stretched when I didn't have the unpredictability of an A to contend with. When we split, he was making 2/3 of the money, I 1/3. I could never get the money to stretch enough back then -- and now I'm fairly comfortably supporting me and three kids on the same income. I took a second job to cover some "luxuries" (like sports and summer camp), but the money goes a whole lot farther when you have control over it.
Why is it hard to leave? Read this thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...logically.html
And big hugs to you. It's a hard place to be, and it gets easier when you leave.