Thank you all...to be honest his verbal abuse is awful whether he is drinking or not, and you never quite know when he will begin. Any - ANY - type of conflict, disagreement, or simple disappointment will send him off the handle...and of course I was certainly the cause of it...no matter what it was. I could walk away and yes...he would follow me...he expects me to react a certain way, and I do my best not to. When I don't react the way he expects it gets far worse. I am a very strong person, but while I still have confidence in myself, I think the part of confidence that I lack is that I can make it on my own. He repeatly has told me how I can't do that along with things about my job etc. I think that this is why I am so stuck, at least in part. My counselor suggest responded to him in a way however that does get him to stop...he really doesn't know what to do, but it really doesn't counter act the damage caused during his outrage. I once believe if a man ever called me names, or physically hurt me in any way...in a snap I would leave....unfortunately it sounds easy...but not so much. We are and have been seperated for a LONG LONG time....really over a year, but it is that final filing for divorce that I seem to be struggling with, probablly because I am so scared he pull all his financial support etc, and who knows what else......Thanks for your thoughts, I am SO trying to take the next step!