patience...when first divorced I didn't realize what cease fighting anybody and anything meant. Neither behaved with kindliness and love. I would be embarrassed if members could see at times my words and actions in this time period. In action was new for me. Choosing to not be effected was different. Turning him over to hp was difficult. I talked with friends who supported me growing rather then fighting. I prayed little prayers often when negative thoughts would come. Sometimes not having a side was never an option before. I talk positive to my kids about him. I don't work at that level.
And with time this whole situation is better; not perfect but better.