Originally Posted by blueblooms14

You ask, "do you think he will get clean for the right reasons or do you think he has become so co-depent of me that he will do anything to not loose his life?"

With all you have suffered in this relationship, maybe try this to sort things out- taking him out of the equation, what do you want for you? Taking things as they are, not as we wish or hope them to be, what do you want your life to be like in the day to day, for the next 5, 10, 20 years. I figure we're in charge of our lives and ourselves- we get that assignment when we're born, and have it forever. Just as an exercise to sort it out, put aside everyone else, and maybe write down on paper (I did this, still do) think about what you want your life to be like, the things you want to do after work, on days off, how your home feels when you come home, what you want for work and working in the years to come, how you want to spend the time with your kids or friends, all of the little details (that are really not so little). For me, it affirms life and who I am and it gets easier to sort stuff out for myself if I take everyone out of the equation. Then think about how you get the life you want in your heart. My abusive ex was a tornado, too. (Great analogy!) He destroyed; he didn't build. And no one thrived around him, we all were just in survival mode, on eggshells waiting for the next storm.