Welcome to the SR family!
You will find support and information here. We understand addiction and how it affects the whole family. You are not alone.
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
I recommend you start with the permanent posts (stickies) at the top of the forum. They contain some of our stories, what we have experienced, and tons of wisdom.
Your AH (alcoholic husband) is in rehab. Good. That gives you time to focus on your needs and your children's needs. You and your children have had front row seats to the alcoholic drama for many years. I remember those years. Trying to maintain calm and order in the midst of chaos that could escalate at anytime (without warning or cause). I was constantly walking on eggshells trying to anticipate the next alcoholic rage/blackout/mess/financial disaster. Unfortunately, my children also were following my example........
Your AH's rehab visit may be productive, or it may not. Rehab is not a magical cure. The treatment center will likely focus on his alcohol dependence. But will they address his anger and violence?
you posted this statement:
i went home. life was horrible he was violent and controlling and demanding but i took it to get my kids back. my daughters have seen my husband punch me in the face. i was caught in the abusive wives cycle.
Unfortunately, sobriety does not cure violence, angry outburst's, lying, cheating, laziness, irresponsibility, disrespectfullness, lack of parental skills, or emotional unavailability.
Sobriety without committed lifelong recovery actions just results in a sober angry, manipulating A**hole.
I know, I am Pelican and I am a recovering alcoholic.
I am also the recovering ex-spouse of an alcoholic.
My A got sober after we divorced. I thought he was cured. He wasn't.
I am thankful for my recovery tools. I am to continue to take care of myself and my children. I wish you the same!
I recommend reading "Codependent No More", and "Under the Influence" to help you understand some of what happens due to alcoholism, and what happens to the family that tries to control/fix the alcoholic.