to getting by: I don't know if "happy" is the word or "peaceful" you are looking for here. I can't imagine being happy and yet someone took me out for a day trip- we explored new things- we got lost and then found - had no schedule to follow-was completely spontaneous- I learned something newI got to share something new with another friend -and in the end I felt for one day I felt like my old self. Just the beginning.
to dancing now: I would have stayed longer had it not been for the liability issue that seemed to loom large over me - I pushed forward with the divorce when I realized this. As far as reconciliation goes - it takes two! I had to admit to myself that my EAH was only looking out for himself and not both of us. A marriage is about two people! That is not working on reconciliation.
I delayed things and took financial hits and emotional hits and losses while he tried to recover - but his recovery did not include learning to care about me. So I had to take care of me. He used to tell me that he loved how tenaciously I could love someone - so I decided i needed to love myself the same way.