Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Well, my relationship with my former husband taught me how very unrelated the steps I have to take to protect myself and how much I love him are. They just sit there side by side. I couldn't tolerate the effect of his addictions, and to this day I care for him as much as I always did.
Enjoy your own place if you go that route: I clearly remember the first night after my then husband moved out, lying in bed and thinking what an enormous relief it was to be in a house where no one was drinking, cleaning out the history on the computer, or hiding anything from me. It was my space and there was nothing in it that I didn't permit. Whew.
Wishing the best for you all.