ForeverKarla

I've been battling and denying an addiction to crystal meth for two years now. I was able to quit for nine months when I was pregnant with my daughter, but shortly after having her, I was back to using again. It's beyond me to why I could stop for her for nine months when I was carrying her, but now having her doesn't seem to be enough to keep me away from it. I hate how I am when I'm ****** up, I disappear for long periods of time without telling anyone where I'm at, or what I'm doing. Luckily, my mother is the one who takes care of my daughter, otherwise I don't even want to think of the terrible things that might have happened if I had been the one solely in charge of taking care of my daughter. I don't want my mother to have the sole control over her anymore though, I want to be the one who does all of the things for her that my mom currently does. In order to do that, I have to find out how to stay away from this plague that's been following me for years, tricking me into believing that all of the problems that were happening because of it, were not actually caused by the drug itself. I never want to touch it again, but I know that as soon as it's readily available for me, I won't be able to say no. This never-ending circle is making me exhausted and I don't want anything to do with it anymore.