Your husband knows you are drinking and hiding it. I hid my heavy drinking from my wife and then one day decided to stop and came completely clean with her. She was surprised (I am sneaky I guess), and of course she was pissed, not about the drinking but about the lying. Didn't expect that. Once she processed everything she jumped right on the support band wagon, a huge help. Have you sat down and had a honest conversation with your husband? If you quit his 100% support would be really beneficial. Going this road alone is all but impossible.