Looking back he was on the level of a sociopath or narcisist or something in that same group. Seriously.
This sounds horrible but I have never admitted this before. I feel like he was a male escort to me not a boyfriend. I paid for everything that we did and he came along for the free ride, he was mentally and emotionally absent, no extra love, distant and he was basically free to come and go as he pleased. I would put up a fight but it never mattered. I labeled him my "boyfriend" but he was no more than a stranger that I financially supported and took care of like a child. He was in my life but it came at a high price-I had to give give and give some more. Whether that was money and just plain caretaking, I had to give to pay him off. For what? Simply his presence. And if I didn't give, well the bottle would be right there for him to run to. He got drunk and I had to be the boyfriend and girlfriend in the relationship. I was alone and I was the only one out of the two of us that cared. If I didn't care then who would because he didn't do anything to keep us afloat? He was as good to me as a peice of furniture or a plant-he was useless. I didn't mean anything to him but a warm body that he used to avoid hitting his bottom. Writing that makes me want to cry.
Duq,
I know we are in the same city, and I know its not possible, based on your details...but,
It sounds like we are dealing with the same person!
My RAH could have been this person years ago.
He was just the same, and had so many girls he treated this way.
It was sociopathic.
Just know this: YOU were not infected by him. You are an openhearted person.
One of my first posts on here, at SR was the question,
"alcoholic, or Sociopath?"
that was back in 2007.
I know things will get better for you, and I cannot stress enough how one thing you can be grateful for is that you are seeing this, and deciding to address the issues in yourself,and heal from it now, getting this hairball out, now, while you are still so young.
Keep moving, you are doing great!