Alone22, your story resonated with me too because it almost parallels mine except I've been married longer. I'm also very tired of the same old dance routine and have detached emotionally, and physically. We just started MC recently and my AH thinks everything is great! He is not the one feeling a lack of respect and love so he doesn't get it. I feel there is no need to talk to him one-on-one because I've tried far too many times. Nothing comes of it or he avoids me for days afterwards. I don't know that there is much we can do to make them get it, and they certainly won't leave us. Our AHs know when they have it good. I ask myself often though if I know that I don't have what I want and desire in a relationship. I'm totally convinced now that I don't have it and not sure that I'll ever have it with him. What I do about that is totally up to me as it is for you. In good time we will make our decisions. Good luck to you in your journey to recovery. Thanks for sharing your story because it's good to know that I'm not the only one living in such a desperate marriage. From the outside most of our friends think we are such a nice couple and don't see through the facade. I feel that I'm living in the state of non-decision currently, but I'm praying that my higher power will guide me through this. It is sad and it does hurt when I think about my marriage and how it's going straight downhill faster than a speeding bullet. All I can do is give the MC a chance and pray for clarity. Hugs to you while we both struggle through this. And here's us do our own dance instead of their dance.
