Keepinon... just for clarity not physically detaching... I assume the therapist thinks you should physically detach. If that is the case then I am already there. For me it is a boundary within myself that I need to feel loved and respected to want physical intimacy, otherwise I feel used. Am I wanting no sex to help my DH find recovery? YES but it is not THE reason why I am detaching. Honestly at this point since he is such a HFA and just simply destroying our relationship is okay with him (ie because he continues to drink), there is part of me that would like to think not having sex may help him really see what his illness is doing to the relationship. Not having sex he has got to miss (I know I do) but it is such a natural consequence to where our relationship is at. For a long time I buried that and had sex at times because I was fearful if I didn't he would just get crankier. I also think sex he equated to life is okay... our relationship is okay, which it clearly isn't okay.
Thank you for sharing what the T said about waiting the year. I'm glad I was on track with what a specialist thinks. That came from my gut on what felt best.