Dee,
Thank you. The past does not have to be the future. That terrible legacy needs to end with my generation, with me. By God's grace, it will. What is sad is that my nephew is carrying on the family tradition. He went to rehab several years ago and still drinks.
Lipitor,
Your humble opinion is on the mark. I do think too much. There is a party going on in my head and I wasn't invited. That's without any alcohol. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if that were one of the reasons I drank -- to turn off/turn down the noise.
John,
Take your one month of "electrical shocks" and multiply it by nine months. I have been engaged in a pitched battle, day in day out, raging obsession. It has been miserable. The ongoing fight with temptation has been exhausting.