Grandnana, I am a grandma too who has taken care of my grandkids for my son. I feel your heartache. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now.
Your situation is definitely different from my own, but we share the joy of grandparenting but also the sometimes pain and frustration of dealing with our own children. You are not alone, especially here on SR.
Looking back now (today is 10 weeks sober for me!). I see NOW that I put my grandchildren at risk whenever they were with me, even during sleepovers. No one, including my husband, knew how much I was really drinking. I drank at dinner and before their bedtime thinking I was in total control. What if I had had a blackout? I was lucky that their grandfather was here too. Thank God nothing ever happened while I was "under the influence"! BTW: Have you read that book (Under the Influence) yet?
I haven't posted on SR for 2 weeks, so I don't know what kind of treatment you're getting. During my first weeks, I was an emotional and physical mess dealing with the symptoms of detox and the side effects of medications I was on.
Each day sober, you will feel better and better, so hang in there. Hopefully, your family will see how hard you are working.:ghug3
BTW: Congrats on 7 days....that is huge!