Most everyone needs a couple of goes at it before we get it right. There is no formula for us all, it's a trial and error as far as I am concerned. I am a type A, over-achieving, control freak (at least when I am sober), applying the French concept of "c'est la vie" has helped me. It basically means "sh*t happens and there isn't anything I can do about it". If it's out of my hands, then no point in worrying about it. You'll get there, keep trying and keep posting.